In Memory of Shadow

Last Friday, January 5th, we took Shadow to the vet to get an x-ray of his jaw. We noticed something wrong with him when he wasn't closing his mouth all the way, as if he couldn't breathe through his nose correctly or as if he had a cold. We finally took him in and got some blood samples and such, got some antibiotics to help in case of any infection and brought him back. He seemed to be getting better, but after about a week, we noticed he was getting worse. He seemed very picky about what he wanted to eat, and I observed that he wasn't eating quite right either and acting kind of bratty. I told my mom 'something is really wrong with him!' That's when she decided to get those x-rays, which was about the same time the vet told us to come back. Well it didn't look good at all. He told us he had a tumor on his jaw that had already caused alot of deterioration, which confirmed why he wasn't eating right. He said at this point, there wasn't much he could do, and advised putting him to sleep. It was a hard call, but my mom, who was with him at that time, decided it was best. So she spent a little time with him before she said goodbye (he was still trying to wake up from the anasthesia and not fully aware). Then they took him, and layed him to rest. =(

It's still sad to even write this, cause he was a part of our family so to speak. We had him for over 10 years and have so many memories of him. We had him since he was a baby. I even remember feeding him with a small bottle! lol I've never had a pet put to sleep, neither had my mom. When I got home that day, my mom had just gotten there, too, and she was very broken up about it. She said she was glad I got home when I did. Well, I'm glad I got to be there for her. I was a little broken up myself hearing the news. Even today I still think of him from time to time and get a little broken up because like I said, we had him for so long and it takes time to forget that he's no longer around when you get home, or when you leave, or even when you're just walking around the apartment! Sometimes I even make a 'tsk tsk' sound just because I was so used to doing that with him, even though he's gone. It can be sad, but it's actually healing.

I don't think we'll get another cat too soon. I think it will take time. I think for now we still think of Shadow as almost being around. In time I'm sure my mom will, since in time I'm not sure where I'll be, whether still here or out of the house. Well see. Even today I was going through some of the pics of him in my computer. That's where I found this one. I definitely want to print these and put them into my photo album. I have a nice black one that I started pretty recently. I think those can still be valuable and easily accessible. I couldn't think of just storing them all in my computer or drive and that's it! It's not very practical to me if you or someone else just wants to browse through your photos. I think of the pics on my computer as more of a storage device for them, not a 'picture time' moment thing, unless it's just me, of course.

Anyhow, I will definitely miss our little guy. He was a part of us for quite some time. I don't know exactly where he is, but I hope that he is at rest with the Lord even as we will be soon! The Lord knows that he was with us and that we took care of His creature. I pray that for all that, there is something special awaiting us that will bring much joy!

I will miss you Shadow. I will always remember you my little friend. =)