Accepting Defeat

I wanted so badly to do well in my Old Testament class, and I was stressing earlier tonight about finishing my tests, workbook and studying. I fell behind because I was doing extra side work apart from my FT job, and it really hurt my studies. But..alas...I'm just accepting the fact that I may not do well in this class and the possibility of taking it again. And you know what? It would actually be good for me, cause I didn't really dig into almost the last half of the OT! That's how far I got behind. I did well on a few essays and the last test, but it might not be good enough. So, I'm not going to stress...I'm going to surrender. I accept defeat...but in accepting it, there's renewed hope of retaking it down the road with a better grasp of this material so...all is not lost.=)

Many trials and tough decisions I've been through lately, which have added some to the stress level. But my hope is in God, and I trust He will lead me onto the right path again. We live and we learn and we grow and our faith is truly tested. But if we, as believers, will also surrender to Him, and just accept defeat, and humble ourselves instead of fighting against Him, our lives will be so radically changed and carefree and full of life! I admit i can sometimes fight and kick and sometimes outright ignore His voice...but in the end, I'm only hurting myself and I'm the one living the miserable life. They say that a Christian who's living in sin is living a life of misery. And in my own life this has been true and I've been there. The obvious question is "well if you know you're going to be miserable if you're in sin, then why do it!" Good question. Christ already freed me of sin on the cross...there's no reason to go back. I'm not held by it any longer, as Romans says "Sin shall NOT have dominion over you, to obey it's lusts." And it's true...Christ freed us all of this...there's no reason to go back to it...we are NOT bound by it any more...but if we choose to go back to it, it will only lead to misery and pain and suffering all over again! Sometimes that pattern can leave us so blind to the effect it's having over us, that pattern of misery and pain, the fact that were, as the bible says, going back to our own vomit! Yes, it's a sick image, but one that accurately illustrates what happens when we go back to sin. If we hang around the wretched smell of a homeless man long enough, pretty soon, we won't smell it anymore...we get used to it. That's how sin is...we get used to it until it seems okay, even desired! When the truth is...it is wretched and filthy and it STINKS! And God cannot look upon that and it cuts us off from fellowship with Him. Yes, Christ died for that very thing, but when we're in sin, it does cut off our fellowship and joy and peace and grieves the Spirit.=(

I guess I stress this so much because, I'm realizing what sin produces...death. Nothing but death and misery and broken hearts and relationships. It is what Christ died for...and if we'll just leave it there at the cross and let it go, we can put on His righteousness and live a life of freedom and peace that will make our lives more satisfying and meaningful and far from misery.=)